A widower’s poignant words

Keith, a widower who came to our Cósagach Soul Spa in January, has since started “writing his grief” in the most spot on and poignant words. I always look forward to reading his posts on Instagram where he posts as @grievingwidower. He sent us this poem about the tribe we’re now part of:

Strange new world

So you’ve arrived in a new country;
A strange place this,
Everything looks the same but feels different
Other people live here
Grieving people, you’ve been told

Who are they?
You can’t really tell
They seem normal most of the time
Is it like a Club then?

Grief Club?
Is that a thing?
You remember the Golf Club
At the wake
The Past dead presidents stared down at you
From the wall
Red jacketed all,
With their reserved parking slots,
The ultimate accolade.
Playing golf is like being dead anyway
You’ve always thought

Fight Club
Was another club you didn’t talk about,
What was it, that Ute and Sarah said?
Shit club to golden thread
Well Fight Club/ Shite Club certainly fit
And being bereaved is certainly shit

Shit Club, then
But club is too ‘hobby’ a word
Bowls, snooker, photo yeah
But not death
Nobody wants in on that one
Just Shit then?
That won’t do; too off-patent, too generic

So, not a club, but a people.
The grief people?
Nah, sounds like an Emo dance troupe
Are they a tribe then?
Grief tribe?
That might be it

Who are they,
The grief tribe?
As with any tribe, you don’t join,
You belong
No choice here
No rhyme nor reason to it either
God doesn’t seem involved
All ages
All orientations
Totally Non-discriminatory
PC gone mad

An unwanted tribe, then
Ignored
For fear
People find themselves in it someday

But in the tribe, life for the members still goes on
Day by day
Incrementally,
Trudging, drudging,
One foot in front of the other,
With those they have loved by their side
(And inside)
But sometimes you lift your head up to check the path
And realise that you’re not doing this alone
And that others are on their own journey
Moving in the same direction alongside you,
Not just members of a tribe
But people you can lean on,
Fellow travellers,
Friends.